Just when I thought things couldn't get any better, here I am in Parque Retiro, possibly the most beautiful park I've ever seen. I don't even know where to start with all the amazing-ness. I was so antsy about an hour ago, waiting for the bus, and now I'm so freaking happy about life. Again. It's just too good to be true, I don't even want to be at Senora's, anywhere, I just want to be here. I want to travel. I want to keep seeing new places, to have my mind blown by how beautiful they are and the idea that people can have this kind of experience every day. 
It also blows my mind that I'll look back on this entry and have grown, changed so much. I'm figuring out so much that I don't know how to handle it. I don't know how to explain except for "overstimulation." I have this urge to take everything in at once, to not sleep, to keep traveling and not stop, to see everything and know everything and come back and know more.
How do people not travel? How are they content to stay in one place, to always have the same experiences ? I've never experienced anything like this heat wave, where there's no air conditioning and I'm perpetually on the verge of dehydration and at night feel like I'm fighting to survive.
I finally got so much sleep. And my class schedule is amazing. And I understood everything the prof was saying today. So why is there always this worry, this fear, that won't go away? At times it might get smaller, but it persists, like a tumor gnawing at me, trying to keep me from having too much fun.
I don't want it but I can't imagine what life would be like without it. I don't know how to purge it. I've been watching all these families like the cute little boy with the hot Spanish father and cute, laid-back mom in boat, and thinking about how that family bond is truly a key to happiness and maybe I will embrace it one day after all.
I love this. I want to record everything about everybody, like Harriet the Spy. The shirtless European guys paddling the boats around and splashing each other, the guy (again, shirtless-everyone is shirtless) sculling the boat determinedly around the perimeter of the lake, the girl meditating, the pink polo shirted Spanish hunk with his preening girlfriend and terrier, all in matching outfits.
I don't want to go back to school. I want to stay here forever! I'm so over Americans- but I do like to spy on them. I'm also over French people- they're so uptight. No wonder- it's because they don't live in SPAIN! Now I can understand the pent-up negativity. This is such babble. I can't wait to make a list of why Spain is superior to France.
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