red light special.

Chastity lived in the red light district of Rennes, an idea that I scoffed at until I walked home with her at 3:00 in the morning.

“Keep moving,” She cautioned me, “Or people are going to think we’re prostitutes. Like those two girls across the street.” I looked to see two black girls in jeans and jackets, hardly what I’d imagine as hookers.

“Right,” I snorted. I wasn't falling for another of Chastity's yarns.

“No, I’m serious,” She went on in a low voice, “I see them here every weekend. All of them. That woman we just passed, the one over there between two cars, you’re going to start noticing them now, just look around you.”

And like in a scene out of a thriller, they began materializing out of nowhere.

I felt like I had just been given the sixth sense. There were women everywhere, lingering at the corner, leaning against the buildings, spaced out evenly along the sidewalk. They all looked like they were waiting for something; a friend to meet them, a taxi to come along and pick them up.

They gave us cool looks as we walked by, and I tried to keep my expression neutral. These girls close to my age might not be able to hurt me, but they weren’t working alone. Indeed, as we turned up her street, Chastity cautioned me once again,

“Stick to the middle of the road. This is where the pimps hide out.” I fought my curiosity to look into the doorways and alleys we were passing, scared that eye contact might get me grabbed up, never to be seen again. Only when we had made it safely inside her door and locked the multiple bolts that lined it, did I let out a sigh of relief.

In the kitchen, Chastity's two eldest host sisters, Helene and Clementine, had also just returned from a night out and were feasting on chocolate cereal and stale baguettes while recapping the evening’s events. We gathered some treats for ourselves and joined them, enjoying the hybrid of languages which was possible due to their high-school level English. Once we had covered all the possible gossip, and sufficiently emptied the cupboards, it was time to trundle upstairs for bed.

Chastity and I linger behind to rinse off some of the dishes before heading up the three flights of stairs. The house is dark, and ominously silent. We tip-toe past the parents' bedroom and begin up the final flight, when suddenly I feel a wave of trepidation wash over me. There, in the shadows, a huge object is leaning against the banister.

"Here's an extra mattress for you, Anne!" Comes Clementine's loud whisper. "Do you want it now?"

Uh oh.

"Look out!!" I push Chastity into the darkness ahead as the mattress begins to move, upwards and over the railing. Shaking in silent laughter, she's doing a horrible job of escaping the situation.

"Faster!!!" I hiss, prodding her in the back as the mattress creeps persistently forwards to position itself over our heads. From behind the banister, muffled Clementine giggles. I attempt one last futile jab at Chastity as the mattress completes the final stage of its journey, launching completely over the railing and plummeting downwards.

For a split second, time slows down as I see the great white hurtling through space towards my head. Then, there is a moment of soft, compressing and squishing springs, and Chastity and I are sandwiched between the mattress and the stairs. Clementine pops up over the railing with a look of triumphant joy and begins to do a silent victory dance.

That does it; none of us can contain ourselves any longer. Pretty soon Chastity and I are too weak with laughter to attempt to free ourselves. We're trying to catch our breath when we hear it, from the parents room, a startled, quizzical murmuring followed by the creak of bedsprings.

"Shit!" Chastity launches forward, only to be knocked backwards again by the weight of the mattress. We are pinned. An unhelpful Clementine has one last laugh before darting into her room.

As footsteps approach the hallway, a burst of panicked adrenaline allows us superhuman strength; on “three” we push forward together and manage to punch, kick, heave, and claw our way out from under the beast. Sweating from the exertion, we somehow propel the massive thing upstairs, the tail end disappearing just as a flood of light fills the second floor hallway. 

Close. But we have somehow kept our record clean for yet another weekend night.