secret agents.

Bonne and I were playing spies. Our first unsuspecting suspect, of course, was Graham. He was just far too vulnerable, making a dramatic show of pacing the cathedral slowly while gazing up at the stained glass in wonder.

Attached by the discman earphones, silently bobbing our head to the beat, we crept up behind him, made some hasty observations, then darted behind a pew to compare.

"Suspect seems to be experiencing a moment of Religious Awakening." Deduced Bonne.

"Ah yes, Bonne, quite astute observation indeed!" I agreed. "It seems that suspect is taking great care in projecting a Pious and Pensive appearance to suit this Life Changing Moment." I peered over the pew. "Oh no, we've lost him!"

Bonne chuckled. "Perhaps he feels compelled to confess his sins."

"Such as making unwanted sexual advances on people while wearing his mesh shirt and lace-up cowboy pants...."

"And dancing lewdly to Christina Aguilera in the common room"

"And spitting his retainer juice all over his classmates while over-enunciating in trying to perfect his French accent...."

Pascale passed by, sending a withering look at the headphones. We hastily reached to remove them, knocking our heads together in the process. Pascale rolled his eyes and continued on.

The playful spirit was contagious. Once outside, Bonne and I contemplated our next Suspect, while Dee-Dee went bounding by with Olivia in hot pursuit. Dee-Dee was pretending to be Olivia's pet chimpanzee, Jane. "Jane" was feeling especially deviant today and was rebelling against her guardian by running in circles while making mating calls, grunting noises, beating her chest, and flailing her limbs. The chase wove in and out of the group; we watched as Olivia made a grab for Jane, missed, and dove headfirst into the dirt. Too weak from laughter to get up, she was left rolling at the feet of Don Henley, who, not knowing what to make of it, stepped over her gingerly.

Inspired by their frolicking, I smacked Bonne on the forearm and took off. Pretty soon, a full fledged game of tag was taking place up and down the cobbled streets of Bayeaux, into alleys and over the steps of cathedrals, careening down hills and into the parks below, while Mr. Austin and Martha waited, glowering, in the parking lot. Pascale had been sent back to collect us, and pretty soon we were all herded, deliciously dirt streaked, sunburnt and sweaty, into our seats, where Agents X and O resumed their secret identities.

Luckily, we were in prime view of an intriguing specimen, and I used the church pamphlet to fashion a makeshift telescope through which to observe it. The suspect, however, remained oblivious, and, disappointed, I turned to conference with Bonne.

“Shall we try to antagonize it and take note of its reactions?”

“Hmmm……. Maybe a hair specimen?” Agent X had an evil glint in her eye. “Let’s see how it responds to that!”

Slowly, carefully, we peered over the seat and then, nodding in unison, attempted rather ineptly to obtain our sample.

“Abort! Abort!” Agent X whispered as we snuck back behind the seat. “Maybe we should stick to Passive Observation.”

"Roger that!" I assented, peering once again through the telescope.

This time, Chastity was glowering back at me.

"What are you doing!?" She demanded.

"It seems the Suspect has caught on to something. Perhaps I detect a flicker of intelligence?"

Chastity whacked the paper out of my hand.

"Oh! Suspect strangely hostile!" I yelped to Bonne. "Agent O recommends shooting it with a tranquilizer dart!"

"But Agent O, we don't have a tranquilizer dart," she reported with dismay.

"Hmmm." I pondered for a moment, then grabbed the candy wrapper lying on the seat, crumpled it into a ball, and launched it at Chastity's head.

"Ow!" The suspect glared at me and then scrambled to get the wrapper, banging her head on the seat in the process.

"Excellent work, Agent O," Bonne whispered theatrically.

"I think, Agent X, that for our next mission.... OW!" I was interrupted by the candy wrapper being flung back with a vengeance. Next, the remains of my paper telescope were crunched into an even larger piece of ammunition, which I just narrowly avoided.

"Mayday! Mayday!" I shouted to Bonne in between onslaughts. "Suggest that we Abandon Suspect on account of Rampant Hostility!!"

"I concur! I concur!!" Bonne yelled back. "Who should be our next victim.. I mean suspect?"

"Hmmmm......" We peered over the top over the seat and eyed the possibilities in a clandestine sort of way before huddling back down in conference.

"Agent X suggests a certain.... Dee-DeeMcDougall!" Bonne whispered.

"Excellent choice, Agent X!" I proclaimed. "Shall we proceed to observe the Updated Subject?"

"Why, indubitably!"

Chastity poked her head over the seat again. "What are you two up to now?" She demanded.

"Oho! Abandoned Subject showing Signs of Interest!" I reported to Bonne, cupping my hand over my mouth.

"Perhaps it is.... Jealous??" Agent X snickered, which made the Abandoned Subject more hostile indeed.