Oh, the essence of my awkwardness. Everything can be going along perfectly fine and then all of a sudden I get into a place with "atmosphere" and I start bumbling around. Right now I look ridiculous waiting for an "amiga," like someone who is about to get stood up- it feels like an episode of Sex and the City. It would be so sadly and pathetically perfect if Bonne didn't show up. I hope that's not the case, but have the overwhelming feeling that it is. It takes like five minutes to get from Tribunal to Estad. Oh geez. I'm basically just writing because I have nothing else to do. How awkward. I think I'll drink my WINE. 

It was la crema de la crema of Plaza Castilla society; men in sleek black suits, women in clingy dark dresses, heels, and hair done to the 9’s. I could easily have been intimidated, but I reminded myself that I was paying good money for this membership, and so what was a little B.O? The quickest route to confidence was clearly to drink as much and as fast as possible, and so I ordered myself a vodka and diet coke, easy on the diet coke, and set about mingling.

The end of the party found me adorned in mardi gras beads with a purse full of pirate doubloons, well-fed and hammered to boot, waving good-bye to my new friend Raoul as I smuggled a full glass of Jack Daniel’s whisky under my jacket past the doormen.

“Brilliant!” I congratulated myself as I swept out the door. “Absolutely brilliant!”

I chuckled all the way down the escalator, pausing to take a celebratory swig at the bottom. Envisioning my grand entrance into Chiqui’s apartment, five hours later than when I left, I chuckled some more, and set off on a weaving path along the sidewalk.

“Holaaaa?” I warbled as I pushed open the front door, but Senora had already called it a night. The living room was dark, the TV off. Disappointed, I was about to take Jack to bed, when I noticed the glimmer of light under the kitchen door. I threw it open triumphantly.

“Helloooooo!!” I cried, whipping the glass out from under my coat. “Anyone want some Jack?!”

A startled Bonne looked up from her piles of textbooks, notes, and index cards. Her face twitched into a mixture of surprise and amusement.

“Bonne!” She snorted, “What are you DOING?!”

“What are YOU doing, you fool? I haven’t seen you studying since last October. Surely no test of Paco’s warrants this kind of effort.”

She raised her eyebrow. “Says the girl who got a C on his last one.”

“And I studied for it, which is precisely why I’m not going to waste my time doing that again. I don’t think Paco would have the heart to give anyone below a B as a final grade, anyway. Now I have a new plan of preparation.”

“Oh yeah, and what’s that? Whisky?”

“And….. COOKIES!!!”

I dove into the third drawer, going straight for the brand new roll of Principes.

“Mmmmmm!” I declared, settling into a chair and proceeding to break each one apart and gnaw off the chocolate inside before discarding the rest of the cookie, leaving a growing pile of carcasses on the table. I had gone through about half a roll before the door swung open again.

I froze, not daring to look around. Bonne hid her face in a textbook. We both knew what was coming next.

“Ohhhhh!” This one was especially shrill.

As subtly as possible, I extended one arm and swept the Principe fragments into my lap.

But Chiqui said nothing about the cookies. Instead, it was my Jack Daniels that she gave the once-over.

“What kind of foolishness is this?” She said. “Drinking whisky while you study for exams!”

“It’s her whisky,” Bonne said. “I’m not drinking, for once.”

“I got it at the gym!” I said proudly. “For free!”

Senora gave me a long, hard look.

“Ohh! Now I understand why you like to exercise.” She finally said.

“Hello, senora!” I burbled. “Guess where I am? The hotel next door! Guess why? I couldn’t find my keys. And my cell phone is dead. I tried buzzing the apartment, but there was no answer. Do you think you could let me in? In about five minutes?”

There was a long pause. I bit my lip and looked at the doormen; their faces mirrored my concern.

Then,

“I’m going to kill you,” Senora growled.

“Oh! A daughter who is not going to be home for Christmas Eve!” She gave me an ever so light, but determined, slap on the cheek.

I gasped, putting my hand to my face. "Chiqui!" I said.

Bonne dissolved into giggles. Chiqui looked contrite, but stood her ground.

"How do you think your poor parents will feel?" She asked. "The most important holiday to be with family, and you off gallavanting around?"

"But my plans have changed!" I said. "That's what I'm trying to tell you! I'm flying on the 23rd- I'm their Christmas present!"

Chiqui's eyes twinkled as she tried to maintain a straight face. "Que Chula," she growled, smiling now. "What a cheeky girl!"